Looking for some adult jokes to spice up your next night out? these adult jokes collections are perfect for adult-minded people or anyone that is feeling a bit naughty,While some of these jokes might cross the line and get pretty offensive, it’s all in good fun. we hope you won’t get offended and enjoy this compilation of funny adult jokes.
Adult Jokes
1. What’s a chicken’s favorite adult film genre?
Hen-tie.
2. What do you call it when spooning leads to intercourse?
Forking
3. What do you call an adult film made under the sea?
A prawn
4. What the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it dies.
5. Why was the Marine kicked out of the adult video store?
Dishonorable discharge
6. What did the storm say to the almond tree?
“Hold on to your nuts, cause you’re about to get a blowjob.”
7. What does an 80-year old woman have between her knees that a young woman doesn’t
Her tits.
8. What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting swallowing and gargling.
9. What’s the difference between a woman with her period and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
10. What is the dirtiest line said on television?
A: “Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night.”
11. What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
12. The last time I was involved in sexual intercourse was when I was a sperm.
13. What do you call the man who had intercourse with 25 cents?
A quarter pounder
14. Why do men have a hole at the end of their nob?
To get air to their brain
15. What do you get when you cross a naughty dog with a rooster?
A that won’t come.
16. What’s white and drips from the clouds?
The coming of the lord.
17. What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
You just push it aside and keep on eating.
18. What’s the best thing about a blow job?
5 minutes’ silence.
19. What do you get if you stand a blonde on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.
20. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
21. What word is innocent and dirty at the same time?
A showerhead
22. What do a gynecologist and pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it, but can’t eat it.
23. What the difference between hard a light?
You can sleep with a light on.
24. What do you call a teenage girl who doesn’t masturbate? A liar.
25. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day; anal sex makes your hole weak.
26. What do you call a woman with a penis?
A man.
27. What’s long, hard, and full of seamen?
A submarine.
28. What are pornstars paid?
Income.
29. Sex is a lot like maths You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don’t multiply.
30. How often do lesbian vampires get together?
Periodically. Like, once a month.
31. My wife caught me jerking off to an optical illusion. I said, “babe it’s not what it looks like!”.
32. What’s worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your Dad’s wedding ring up there.
33. What do you call two nuts on the chest?
Chestnuts.
34. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
35. Why did the snowman pull his pants down?
He saw the snowblower.
36. Why did God make girls with the butthole so close to the vajj?
So you can carry them home like a 6 pack!
37.
38. What do you call a male square having intercourse?
An erectangle.
39. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me!
40. What does Kenny G fantasize about every night?
Saxual intercourse.
41. Why do geologists perform so well during intercourse?
They really know how to make bedrock.
42. What do you call ball’s on your chin?
A dick in your mouth!
43. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A cocksucker.
44. What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in.
45. What is it called when a History major doesn’t get laid?
The non-intercourse act
46. What do you call a group of adult entertainment and sex workers?
A Pornucopia
47. Did you hear about the guy with French asthma?
A: He could only catch his breath in snatches.
48. What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.
49. What’s the difference between a voyeur and a thief?
A: A thief snatches your watch.
50. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They’re both used as a meat substitute.
