Fish puns are one of the best things about working in a restaurant. We get to come up with names for new fish dishes, create funny marketing material, and make jokes all day long as we work.That’s why we like talking about fish puns; they give us a constant source of inspiration for our wackiest ideas.
Now, you might be thinking, “What sort of people spend their time coming up with fish puns? That sounds awful!” And you would be right. Fish puns are the worst. There’s no better way to let your friends know just how nerdy you are than by spouting off terrible fish puns on social media.
Thankfully, we’re here to help you avoid those pitfalls and instead give you some great ideas that will have everyone green with envy (instead of red with rage).
Funny Fish Puns
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Q: Where are sharks from?
A: Finland!
Q: How do fish go into business?
A: The start on a small scale!
Q: What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A: A seahorse!
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Fish live in salt water because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the “G”!
Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Q: What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
A: I-tentacle twins!
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: They are always in schools!
Q: What fish are at the zoo?
A: Lion fish!
Q: Why are fisherman so stingy?
A: Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Q: Who granted the fish’s wish?
A: The fairy cod mother!
Q: What do you call a fish with two knees? A: A two-knee-fish!
Q: What did the fish say to the other fish? A: Pucker-fish!
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Fish are so smart because they live in a school!
Q: What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
A: Shark-o-late!
Q: How did the shark do on his test?
A: Fin-Tastic!
Q: What do fish use to weigh themselves? A: Scales!
Q: What kind of fish will help you hear?
A: A herring aid!
Q: How does an octopus go to war?
A: Well-armed!
Q: What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A: A blue whale!
Q: Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
A: The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A Sturgeon!
Q: What do you call a fish with a tie?
A: Sofishticated!
Q: How do shellfish get to the hospital?
A: In a clambulance!
Q: Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
A: She wanted to make a fish stick!
Q: Why don’t oysters share their pearls? A: Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Q: What did the fish say when he posted bail?
A: I’m off the hook!
Q: Why don’t fish play basketball?
A: Fish don’t play basketball because they are afraid of the net!
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: ‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die?
A: The fish that go to heaven are the Angelfish!
Q: What is the most expensive kind of fish?
A: The most expensive fish is the goldfish!
Q: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
A: You should listen to something catchy when you are fishing!
Q: What fish perform at the circus?
A: Clown fish!
Q: What fish like to fly?
A: Flying Fish
Q: How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
A: Ten-tickles!
Q: Which sea creatures cry the most?
A: Whales!
Q: Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
A: The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
Q: What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A: A perch!
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
A: Swimming trunks!
Q: How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
A: By a golf carp!
Q: Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
A: The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Q: Where do fish stay on a campsite?
A: Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Q: What are the fastest fish in the river? A: The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Q: What do fish use for money?
A: Sand dollars!
Q: How to fish like to eat cereal?
A: In a fish bowl!
Q: How do clams call their friends?
A: Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Q: What’s the easiest way to catch fish? A: Have someone throw it at you!
Q: Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
A: The piano tuna!
Q: What kind of whale can fly?
A: A Pilot whale!
Q: Why did the whale cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!
Q: Why did the fish cross the road?
A: The chicken had the days off!
Q: Why do fish like worms?
A: Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them!
Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish!
Q: Where do fish save their money?
A: Fish save their money in the river bank!
Q: Why was the whale so sad?
A: The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: You get as far away as possible!
Q: What kind of shark is always gambling?
A: A card shark!
Q: How does a group of dolphins make a decision?
A: The group of dolphins flipper a coin!
Q: Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Some fish are at the bottom of the ocean because they dropped out of school!
Q: Which fish is the most famous? A: The starfish!
Q: How do you confuse a fish?
A: Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Q: Why did the shark spit out the clown? A: Because he tasted funny!
Q: Where do fish sleep?
A: On a seabed!
Q: What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A: A jelly button!
Q: Where do fish go to watch movies?
A: The fish watch the movies at the dive-in!
Q: Why do fish not like computers?
A: Fish do not like computers because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net!
Q: How do you catch an electric eel?
A: You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Q: What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
A: He got lockjaw!
Q: What did one fish say to the other?
A: If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught!
Q: What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A: A clownfish!
Q: Do you know where you take a sick squid?
A: To the doctopus!
Q: Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? A: They have glass flippers!
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A: A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Q: How do fish play the drums?
A: They play the drums with Fish Sticks!
Q: How do you make an Octopus laugh?
A: With tentacles!
Q: What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
A: Bob!
Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman?
A: The magician said pick a cod, any cod!
Q: Why are goldfish orange?
A: The water makes them rusty!
Q: What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? A: Whale of fortune!
Q: What part of a fish weighs the most? A: The part of the fish that weighs the most if the scales!
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish!
Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: The mouse is afraid of the water because of catfish!
